Thank you.

This is our last blog for the class, yet not the last week of school. I may continue to post on here even though the assignment isn't due. Come May 16, 2014 I may look back on this and realize how stressed I was which will make the accomplishment that much sweeter. I enjoyed reading a lot of the blogs and I hope that some will contiue to post.

Just an update.

I really just want to drop out and live among the wild. (Joking) I counted how many weeks I have left of school and it equates to 26 weeks. I also counted how many days I have left in this semester including weekends and holidays. This equates to 53 days left in the semester. Why it is the final stretch is so hard. I don't know if it’s because I have a lot on my plate, but I have such a hard time dragging myself out of bed everyday that's not a weekend. Now it's starting to get cold too, which makes it harder to get up. Someone's ripped my bulletin board that I've worked so hard on during the weekend, I haven't made reservations for a table for 11 people for my birthday this weekend, and on top of that, I'm not even EXCITED for my birthday this weekend, and I'm turning 21. How lame is that? I'm more excited for May 16, 2014 than November 2, 2013.

Bald, with a degree.

By the end of this semester, I'm going to be bald.

This past week I've brought an unknowingly stolen phone that I can't use, been pulled over by the cops, gotten two bad grades, SLAVED through a finance midterm, and had my hair ruined by the hair salon (Groupon is the devil.)

I have been stressing over so much lately, and I don't know if it's because I'm coming right out of midterm’s right into a stressful week, right into a bad Monday, but I've been just feeling awful.

I got my midterm grades back and two weren't where I wanted them to be, but I guess that's why they are midterms, so I can bring them up.

I lost out on close to 400$ and I can't get the money back, I'm also wondering how I'm going to tell my parents.

Lately, and I hate girls who talk about their boyfriend day in and day out, my boyfriend has been getting me through so much. I'm very grateful for him. We both are looking at the tape with the words "Graduation" written across it. I'll break it first, but I feel like I'll also break a blood vessel trying to finish this semester.

Plus, my birthday is coming up, I'll be 21 and I hate planning events because something always goes wrong, but I love attending events. I guess I have to plan this one since it is MY birthday.

But to look at the bright side, I received a letter from my 7 year old sister (yes, a letter) saying me and her need to go on a date, and that's just what we did this weekend. She's such a comedian for her age and I enjoy watching her grow.

My boyfriend, my two younger siblings, God and my mom are really pulling (literally pulling) me through these semesters.

Senior RA at BSUHC2k13 during pre-midterm week

This week was homecoming week, and it rained and rained and rained. I was not really feeling like doing much of anything, but my life has so many obligations. I didn't go to most of the homecoming events because I just felt like "I'm a senior, I've been to this three times before, and it’s not that exciting." On top of that, I work 16 hours a week for my internship and 7 mandatory hours as an RA. Those 7 hours may not seem like a lot, but add in the waking up at 3am to open someone's door just to get up again at 8am to get to your internship that is from 9 to 4:30 pm. Frustrating. So, make that 7 mandatory hours plus about 10 "float" hours where you have to be in the area, or typing up reports, or filling out some sort of paper work. Then, just to make things better it's pre midterm week, and for me that means studying for the actual midterm week. So, let's see, 16 hours of internship, 17 hours of resident assisting, being up at 3 am, studying for midterms and homecoming drama. Phew!

But one thing I can say about homecoming is, I went to the step show/after party. Let me back track, for the last year I've been feeling like the "old" friend or the replaced friend because apparently I can't keep up. I've been left behind, no considered, not invited or not included because my priorities have changed and some of my friend’s priorities are different than mine. So I haven't been out in awhile. But this after party was amazing. It's me and my right hand, Kierra, and we are bringing back memories from freshman year where we used to go HARD at parties, grabbing all the attention. Me and her danced till we sweated off our makeup. She was drunk and I wasn't, but I got this high from seeing how many people I could dance with (without hurting myself). Kierra was taking pictures and for the sake of my grade I won't post them, but it was awesome to feel like the best friend again. It was awesome to feel like a freshman in college again.

But as I type this, I'm thinking about the incident report I have to write for residence life, and the flop of a customer service week for my internship that I personally planned due to the rain, and the 4 midterms I have. I float down from my party cloud and plop back on to my bed, covered in papers, watching Roseanne, and a heating pad for my old, partied out, back. I fear that I'll be not considered again because of these things, but anything for that diploma I guess. It's tough being a senior RA at the BSUHC2k13 during pre-midterm week.

Government Shutdown, Niaya's Meltdown.

The government has shut down today and on top of that, I'm realizing everyday that I'm one day closer to graduating which lets me know one thing, I have this fear of not being successful. I say that because all I've known for about 13 years of life is school. You go, you come back, and you do homework and turn it in. Rinse and repeat. Well, after graduation...what do I do then? Don't get me wrong, your girl IS going to grad school, but I have to get my money up, which means I have to work, which means I won't be in school for a while. I'm so scared that I'll be a statistic, well everyone is a statistic, but I don't want to be a bad one. The reason why I start this post about the government is because it really scares me to see the world in so much financial unrest months before I'm going to be thrust out into the world with no manual and I'm suppose to roll with the economic punches. I'm scared. I'm very scared. I don't like America, and if I could, I'd move in a heartbeat. But since I'm stuck here, with my 12,000$ in loans, I'm sure I'm going nowhere anytime soon. Why does being a grown up scare the life out of me. Next semester I'm supposed to take 5 classes and sometimes I want to just take 3 and stay an extra semester.

Working Waterfall.

Stressed.

That’s one word I can describe my semester. I honestly think I can do it, but I also feel as though I'm giving up a lot. Being that it's my last year I'm trying to have fun, but finish with outstanding grades. Lately that has seemed impossible. Between my internship, being a Resident Assistant, having a boyfriend and wanting some alone time I feel as though there aren't enough hours in a day. One thing that does help is gospel music or just getting the assignments done, but every time I turn around something else is due. It's really a waterfall of work just pouring into my lap. Ugh.

My Ardent Year 2014.

May 2014.
Many people will be waiting for that day, including me. But, as I'm quickly learning, there's a lot more to senior year than the EXCITEMENT of being a senior.
They say writing down your feelings help you deal with them a lot better. Well I guess I'll be here every day because my mind, feelings, and thoughts are a roller coaster now-a-day's. 
I feel selfish because there are many people who would literally kill for an education, but I'm just so tired of school right now. 
My blog is about how I feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity yet gaining a prized possession with each passing day. It's about my daily activities, what I have given up, and what I have and will gain. May 2014.